Grace and Courtesy – Part 1


I have come to appreciate the fact that children have a deep sense of personal dignity…The important thing was that the children found no obstacles in the way to their development. They had nothing to hide, nothing to fear, nothing to shun. Their self-possession could be attributed to their immediate and perfect adaptation to their environment. ~ Maria Montessori, The Secret of Childhood


I will never forget the first time I observed a Montessori class in action. There was something so magical and so endearing about the environment. I absolutely fell in love with the way the children treated the material, the teachers as well as their fellow classmates. The level of respect was incredible! Much later I learned that this harmonious environment was directly related to the important Grace and Courtesy lessons which are an integral aspect of every Montessori environment.

Montessori Grace and Courtesy: Important Social Lessons

Maria Montessori believed that children between the ages of 3 and 6 yrs are in a sensitive period of learning good manners and felt that this aspect of their development offers a window of opportunity that must be nurtured in the Montessori environment at an early age. The important social lessons of Grace and Courtesy are best implemented through role-playing during circle time in the Montessori classroom and are reinforced daily on an individual basis. The Grace and Courtesy Lessons really do provide the framework for a peaceful, respectful Montessori environment.

Important Grace and Courtesy lessons include the following:

• The Daily Greeting (shaking hands politely)
• Interrupting politely (hand on shoulder)
• How to say “please” and “thank you”
• Answering the telephone politely
• How to blow your nose
• How to cough and sneeze
• How to treat materials with respect
• How to excuse oneself from a table or when you need to get by someone
• How to walk around a mat

Just today, I observed the impact that these lessons have had on my own son. We were at the park this afternoon and a little boy about his age approached him, but was a little hesitant to say anything. My son who is four and half, extended his hand to the boy and said, “Hi, my name is ______, nice to meet you.” The two of them shook hands and then played together for quite a while. When it was time to go, my son said, “Bye friend, it was nice meeting you. Maybe I’ll see you another time.” It was very sweet to see him putting into practice the Grace and Courtesy lessons learned at Montessori preschool!